


The Truth is Out There

by AwkwardPotatoChild



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Comedy, Cryptids, Gen, M/M, Romantic Comedy, Swearing, he just wants the truth, i'm still bad at tagging things, just in case i guess, you know how Robert is like with his cryptids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 03:52:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11661069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardPotatoChild/pseuds/AwkwardPotatoChild
Summary: "He’s a cryptid, Mary!"“Are you serious right now? I thought maybe you had come across the leader of a cult or something, but you give methisinstead?”





	The Truth is Out There

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NeverBeenSane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverBeenSane/gifts).



> Another piece requested by NeverBeenSane! This time with her other dadsona, Jasper!  
> I'll eventually get around to making posts about each of our dadsonas since the two of us actually have different dadsonas for each of the dads, but for now, just...yeah.
> 
> I don't have a beta, like always, so if there are any mistakes, don't hesitate to let me know!
> 
>  **EDIT:** Mine and NeverBeenSane's Dadsona profiles are now up! You can learn more about Jasper [here](http://dangcommaannie.tumblr.com/post/164064749581/name-jasper-moran-age-35-ish-current-partner) and the other Dadsonas [here!](http://dangcommaannie.tumblr.com/tagged/dadsona-profiles)

Mary pushed open the door to the old diner. The bell over the door jingled, signaling the waitress to her presence. Looking up from her phone, Sarah didn’t bother moving from her place behind the hostess stand once she saw that it was Mary. Being open 24 hours a day, Ellie’s was Mary’s go-to place when Jim and Kim’s was closed or when she needed a place to sober up before going home. Today, it was the former. Mary and Sarah both nodded at each other before Mary looked around the diner, hoping to find a familiar figure. To her luck, the diner was empty, minus the staff and someone sitting at the last booth, wearing a leather jacket and concentrating on the table and cup of coffee before them. Mary knew it could only be one possible person. She gave a small smile at this and walked over to his booth, settling herself across from him since she knew he wouldn’t tell her off.

“Hey, Smalls. Ya know this place doesn’t sell alcohol, right?”

“Shut up, Mary.”

Robert hadn’t looked up when she spoke. Glancing down, Mary noticed that he was intently staring at a few pictures of what appeared to be the same person, only one of which was relatively clear, and a couple sheets of paper with his scribbles all over them. Mary wasn’t shocked about getting ignored and told to shut up, especially not by Robert, so she couldn’t help but tease him a bit more.

“Geez, someone’s in a pissy mood today. What happened? Your one-night stand piss in your coffee before they leave?”

“I said shut up, Mary!”

Mary raised an eyebrow at Robert’s sharp tone. She knew he wasn’t the friendliest person on the planet and that their relationship was built on sarcasm and insults, but hearing him be this snippy with her was surprising. Mary watched with concern as Robert grumbled to himself and ran his fingers through his hair. He drank all of his coffee with one gulp and Sarah came along to refill it quickly, giving Mary a brief look of worry as Robert scribbled more things down and continued to talk to himself. She knew he didn’t often get much sleep to begin with, but the dark circles under his eyes were more prominent now. Mary knew that whatever was bothering him was big with worked up he was right now. She gave him a moment before sighing.

“Hey,” said Mary softly. “What’s up? Tell me what’s wrong.”

Robert looked up briefly. He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly shut it, shaking his head and returning to the papers in front of him. “Nothing that concerns you.”

“Yeah?” asked Mary. “Because as the closest thing you have to a best friend, I’d say that it does concern me.”

Robert looked up to see Mary giving him a pointed look. He knew she was only concerned, but this was really his problem to worry about, not her’s. But he also knew that Mary was just about as stubborn as he was and she definitely wasn’t going to leave him alone until he told her what was going on. Glancing down at his papers, he figured it to take a step back from all of this and reassess everything, and who know? Maybe talking to Mary would help him. Robert relented and sighed, setting his pen down. Mary’s expression didn’t show it, but he knew she was happy that he was talking to her.

“Okay, so here’s the thing,” said Robert. “I met this guy.”

“You meet a lot of guys.” Robert gave Mary a pointed look and she smiled innocently. “Sorry. You make it easy. Continue.”

Robert sighed. “Anyway, I met this guy. Cute. Real cute. Kinda into him. But the problem is that he doesn’t exist.”

“He doesn’t exist?”

Mary’s forehead furrowed in confusion. Robert has a habit of lying and joking around about shit like this, but Mary knew that wasn’t the case this time, not with how distressed he looked over this. He leaned in closer to her and she did as well. He spoke in a whispered tone as if what he had to say was detrimental to the fate of the world.

“Yeah. Ran into the guy at Jim and Kim’s the other week. You weren’t there because I think that was the night that all 5 of your kids were sick or something.”

“I only have 4 kids, Robert.”

“I know what I said.” Mary rolled her eyes. “Anyway, I started talking to him and like I said earlier, he was cute, so I thought I could get him to spend the night with me. I started flirting with him and everything,” he paused to take a sip of his coffee, “but nothing, Mary! Nothing at all!”

Robert stared at Mary, searching for some understanding, but she only shrugged. “Okay? I mean, I’m not gonna deny the fact that you’re an attractive man, Robert, but that doesn’t mean everyone’s going to be into you. Besides, your idea of flirting is telling people weird war stories that never even happened.”

“That’s not the point, Mary!” groaned Robert. “The point is that this guy didn’t react to anything I said at all. No smile. No scoffing. No yelling. No nothing. I don’t even think he blinked!”

“Once again,” said Mary, “not everyone is going to be into you and your stories. It happens. It’s okay.”

Robert groaned again. “Just let me finish explaining. Okay?”

Mary held up her hands in surrender and nodded.

“Right. So while we were...chatting, I found out his name’s Jasper. He just moved into this side of town a little while ago with his kids, but he’s been a regular at Jim and Kim’s for awhile now. I thought that was weird since I’ve never seen him before, but whatever. It’s not like I live there or anything. Anyway, no ring or mention of a partner either, so I thought it’d be fine. I flirted with him and it didn’t work. Normally, you know I wouldn’t bother, but at this point, I’m curious. He eventually leaves since he has to get home to his kids, so I go to ask Neil about him since he’s a regular. This is where things started to get weird because Neil doesn’t know him at all.

“Neil knows everyone though,” said Mary. She frowned.

“Exactly!” exclaimed Robert. “Neil’s never heard of this guy in his entire life. He doesn’t even know a Jasper. But it gets even stranger after that”

Mary’s eyes narrowed. “Stranger? Continue.”

“It was weird, but I figured it wouldn’t matter anyway. I figured I’d probably never run into him again since I’ve never run into him before. But after that first meeting, I started seeing this guy in the weirdest places.”

Robert sighed and took another sip of his coffee. If Robert was saying these places were weird, that must mean something.

“First, I run into him at the cemetery. I know that’s not unusual for you and me since we know I often run into your brother there, but Damien is definitely never there at 1 in the morning and he’s definitely not there in his pajamas either. He’s just wandering around the cemetery and I have no idea why. I watched him for a while, but he just walks around in circles for a bit. I called out to him, thinking he might be lost or looking for something, but all he does is wave and leave. And it’s not even an actual wave! He just put up his hand and moved it to the side! Who even does that? But yeah. He just...leaves after that. Like just disappears. I chased after him, but I couldn’t find him anywhere.

“I was weirded out by that, so I decided to head up to my masterbation place to think about this for a bit. I had just sat down to whittle, when guess who I saw? Jasper. Same as before. Just wandering around in his pajamas. I thought this had to be a hallucination, but I called out to him again anyway. Once again, he turns, does that weird wave, and then just leaves! I don’t even know how he got there! How the hell did he even find that place?! Who the hell even is this guy?!

“Anyway, at this point, I’m kinda freaked out. Running into this guy once was a coincidence, but twice? No. Nope. Something is definitely up. I had to get out there. I had to go somewhere and be alone because this was all too much for me. So I got in the truck, drove around for a bit, and eventually found my way into the woods. It’s dark. It’s late. There definitely can’t be anyone in the woods at like 2 or 3 in the morning, right? Wrong! I walk over to my thinking bench and he’s fucking there too! He’s out there in the fucking woods in his stupid fucking pajamas just wandering the fuck around! What the fuck, Mary?! What the fuck?!”

Robert takes a deep breath to calm himself down before continuing. Mary waited patiently for him to continue. This was definitely getting interesting.

“He does the same weird wave thing and leaves again, but this last time I saw him was the weirdest of all. This happened a few days ago, but I was at the convenience store at like 4 in the morning because I was kinda hungry after Jim and Kim’s and was too lazy to go to Ellie’s. Things seemed to be like usual, but I turn down the chips and snack aisle and there he is, dressed in neon running shorts and a giant t-shirt. I stood there, just watching him because I had no idea what else to do. The guy didn’t seem to notice me either. He’s just staring at the chips for like 5 minutes before he turns and leaves the store. Didn’t buy a single damn thing. I thought he didn’t notice me, but before he leaves, he turns around, looks directly at me, and waves. The same damn wave as before too! I seriously couldn’t believe that I actually just saw him, so I stood there staring for a moment more before I realized that I totally missed the chance to actually talk to him then!”

Robert gives an exhausted sigh.

“By this point, I’m too invested in this guy. I don’t know what’s up with him, but I’m going to find out. He said he had kids, so I figured one of the dads in the cul-de-sac knew him, but dead ends there too. I even asked Hugo to ask his teacher friends. No one knows who this guy is. No one’s ever heard of him. No one’s ever seen him. No one’s heard of his kids either. But that’s when I finally realized something, Mary! I think I discovered something big here!”

Mary leaned in closer with anticipation. Robert was growing more excited, hands moving about as he gestured wildly.

“Maybe he didn’t accept my advances that night at Jim and Kim’s because he’s actually a cryptid! He’s a cryptid, Mary!”

Mary immediately frowned. She glared at Robert, thinking that this must be some kind of joke. “Are you serious right now? I thought maybe you had come across the leader of a cult or something, but you give me  _ this _ instead?”

“Don’t use that tone with me, Mary!” huffed Robert. “You know it’s perfectly good explanation as to why no one has ever seen him! It’s why no one seems to know him or his kids! He’s an actual cryptid, Mary!”

Mary sighed and shook her head, leaning back in her seat. “Maybe you’re just stupid. Or drunk. Or both.”

“Mary-”

“Or maybe he’s just oblivious to people flirting with him. Or he’s asexual. Maybe he just likes to keep a low profile. Also, who are you to call people’s late night decisions weird? You were in all of those places with him too!”

Robert looked like he wanted to argue, but he wasn’t about to deny that Mary had made some good points. He crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat as well, turning away from her, a grumpy expression on his face. Neither of them had anything else to say to the other, so Mary used that opportunity to order herself some fries to snack on. Nothing was said until Sarah brought over her fries and was gone.

“But cryptids, Mary!” Robert exclaimed suddenly.

Mary rolled her eyes and groaned. “You’re killin’ me, Smalls.”

“Sorry,” sighed Robert. “But this guy is just so...gah!” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and his head in his hands. “He’s all I can think about. He’s all I can see. I just want to know the truth, Mary. That’s it. I just want the truth.”

Mary could see that her friend was tired and stressed out about all of this. She was never good that good at inspirational talks and she knew that Robert hated this kind of shit anyway, so she simply reached over and patted his shoulder. The bell over the door rang out again and Mary looked up to see a father with his teenage son and toddler enter the diner. She didn’t pay too much attention to them, until Sarah seated them two booths behind Robert. Mary’s forehead furrowed in confusion when she realized that she recognized the father from somewhere. Looking down, Mary grabbed the one picture of Jasper that Robert had that wasn’t an absolute blurry mess. She carefully held it up, doing her best to keep them from seeing that she was comparing the two of them. As blurry as it was, the person in the photo and the person in front of her were a match. She gasped softly and leaned into Robert.

“Hey, Robert,” whispered Mary. “I’m about to tell you something, but you can’t be weird about it. You gotta stay calm. Okay?”

Robert looked at Mary with a befuddled expression. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Mary gave him a serious expression. “Robert, I need you to promise me right now that you won’t overreact to what I’m about to say. I’m dead serious here.”

“Okay. I promise. I won’t overreact or whatever.”

“Good,” nodded Mary. She took a deep breath. “Jasper is sitting behind you.”

“What?!” Robert immediately jumped up and frantically looked around, but Mary had anticipated this and pulled him back down. Luckily, Sarah didn’t seem to care since they were regulars and Jasper and his family were too focused on the menu to notice his outburst.

“I told you not to do that!” Mary whispered harshly.

“I’m sorry! I panicked!” Robert whispered back. He leaned in closer to Mary. “What he’s doing?”

Mary peered around Robert. Her expression revealed nothing, but Robert noticed how her nose scrunched up for a second before returning to normal.

“He and his family are just looking at the menu’s, but his daughter, the little one, is...she’d give my twins a run for their money in the creepy stare department.”

“His kids are here too?!”

Before Mary could stop him, Robert had already turned around and was staring intently at the family. She saw his gaze go towards Jasper first, but was immediately drawn into the toddler’s gaze, big eyes peeking over the table. Robert and the little girl stared at each other. Neither of them breaking their staring contest.

“Carmilla, stop staring at people. You know it’s not polite.”

Jasper hadn’t looked up from his menu as he spoke. The sound of his voice startled Robert, but Carmilla seemed to have expected this, her gaze still fixed on Robert. She blinked once before pouting and turning towards her father.

“But he started it!” she grumbled.

Jasper gave her a knowing look before looking up. His eyes widened in recognition when he saw who it was Carmilla was talking about. “Oh. Robert. Hey.”

Jasper did the same awkward wave that been haunting Robert’s mind. Mary watched with amusement as Robert remained frozen in shock. Was this really happening? Carmilla looked between her father and Robert, her confusion evident. She reached up and tugged Jasper’s sleeve, getting his attention.

“Dad, you know him?”

Jasper looked over at Robert before looking back down at her. He nodded.

“Yeah. He thinks I’m a cryptid,” Jasper deadpanned.

Robert’s expression transformed into one of complete confusion and shock. Behind him, he could hear the faint sound of Mary trying to keep her laughter from spilling, but he didn’t care.

_ He fucking knew?! _

“Like El Chupacabra?” asked Carmilla. She tilted her head to the side adorably.

“Kind of,” shrugged Jasper.

He looked back down at his menu. Jasper’s son had been silent the whole time, but truthfully, like Mary, he had been struggling to keep his laughter at bay. He took a breath to calm himself down before speaking with the same tone his father had earlier.

"No, Carmilla. You know Dad is actually the Maple Bay Monster. What do you think he does when we both go to school?"

Carmilla gave her brother an inquisitive look. "I thought he was a vampire and stayed inside all day."

"That's only a side job, so he's only a vampire on weekends."

At this, Mary could no longer keep her laughter in and openly laughed. Robert turned around to stare at her with disbelief and Carmilla let out a few happy giggles as well. Jasper and his son both shared knowing smirks.

“Mary, really?” asked Robert.

“Sorry,” struggled Mary. She clutched at her stomach and wiped away a few tears. “This is just. Oh god. This is hilarious. I love this family already.” She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down. Lifting a hand, she gestured towards Jasper and his family. “Please feel free to continue your conversation, Robert.”

Robert sighed and rolled his eyes before turning back to face Jasper, who had an amused smile on his face. Robert glared at him, but Jasper only shrugged.

“Jasper, what the hell?”

“Language!” scolded Jasper. Robert pulled back slightly. That certainly has never happened to him before. Mary was back to laughing again. This was all too good.

“Sorry?” Robert said tentatively.

Carmilla suddenly started giggling. “Dad’s just kidding. He curses around the house all the time.”

Robert sighed and shook his head before turning his attention back to Jasper. He shrugged once again.

“Sorry. Thought you knew it was a joke.”

Jasper gave Robert a small smile, but Robert wasn’t amused. In fact, he was somehow even more confused than he was before. Who the hell is this guy? Is he human? Is he a cryptid? Is this all a dream? Robert had no fucking clue anymore and his confusion was evident. Jasper watched carefully as Robert tried to sort through his thoughts, but it was clear that he wasn’t able to find an answer to any of the questions he had in mind.

“Hey. You alright there?” asked Jasper.

Robert stared for a beat before blurting out the first question on his mind.

“Are you real?”

Jasper chuckled. “Well, I’m pretty certain I am. Why do you ask?”

From Jasper’s casual tone and relaxed expression, he clearly couldn’t understand why Robert was so worked up right now and it was making him more irritated. He continued to stare at Jasper with a bewildered look before shaking his head and getting up. Growling, he stood before Jasper, pointing at his chest.

“Because I don’t understand you! What are you?! I have seen you everywhere, but no one knows who you and your family are! I have asked all of the dads in my neighborhood and no one knows! I don’t get it! I’ve seen you in the cemetery, in the woods, at my thinking place, even the convenience store at 4 in the morning! How are you everywhere in my life, but literally no one knows you?! I don’t even know if you’re actually real right now!”

Jasper stared at Robert with wide eyes. He watched as Robert stared back, wondering if he would hurt him right now, but he knew that Robert was just frustrated. Mary had gotten up at some point during Robert’s rant and had a hand on his shoulder, hoping to calm him down, but also hold him back, in case he decided to do something rash and stupid. Jasper gave a small frown before looking away uncomfortably.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you so much trouble.”

Robert could see that Jasper hadn’t meant any harm and immediately felt guilty about his outburst. He calmed down immediately and sighed.

“Nah. It’s not your fault. I’m sorry for yelling at you like that. Just...please explain to me what’s going on because I’m so confused.”

Carmilla and her brother suddenly started giggling and Jasper gave Robert a sheepish look. Robert raised an eyebrow in confusion, waiting for an explanation.

“So Dad here,” said Jasper’s son after getting his laughter under control, “doesn’t really care to have that much attention on him, so he’s learned to keep a low profile and just blend in with everyone else. The problem is that literally no one remembers him at all, which is why the cryptid joke is a thing that happens often in our family.”

“Yeah. What Silvester said,” add Jasper shyly. “I’m also just not good at talking to people since not everyone really understands my brand of humor, so it’s just easier for me to avoid people altogether.”

Robert was still confused, but nodded. That at least answered one of his questions. He crossed his arms and gave Jasper a suspicious stare.

“Okay, but how come we kept on running into each other? That couldn’t have been a coincidence.”

Jasper awkwardly scratched at the back of his head. “Actually…”

“You gotta be kidding me,” groaned Robert. Mary, Carmilla, and Silvester all laughed.

“Yeah,” continued Jasper. “That night we ran into each all of those times? Our dog had gotten out and since he was once a street dog, he tends to get pretty far whenever he gets out, so I had to search all over town for him. He’s often in one of those places, so we think those were the places he frequented before we adopted him.”

“And the convenience store?”

“I was up late working and wanted some chips, but had forgotten to pick them up at the store earlier. I didn’t want to go far and was hoping that the convenience store would have the brand that I wanted, but they didn’t. I was too tired to do more than just stare and leave. It was too much work trying to decide on another brand to settle with.”

Now that everything was out in the open, all Robert could do was stare off into the distance blankly. With all of the oddity surrounding him and Jasper, he really couldn’t seem to comprehend the fact that there was actually a reasonable explanation for everything. Robert’s brain had completely shut down at this point and he was certain that he had entered another dimension. That was the only possible explanation for all of this. Robert had gotten so drunk that he somehow managed to leave his universe and into another.

As Robert stared off blankly, Jasper looked at him with great concern. He looked at Mary with concern, who was trying to bring Robert back to reality. Mary eventually just nodded and turned back towards Jasper and his kids.

“So...I’m gonna take this guy home in a bit because he needs to rest and process all of this, but in the meantime, Robert told me you guys just recently moved to this part of town.”

“Yeah,” nodded Jasper. He was still glancing at Robert with concern. “We just moved into the cul-de-sac nearby.”

“Oh! What a coincidence!” exclaimed Mary. She smiled brightly. “I live there too and so does Robert. My husband and I are actually having a cookout next week, so you should come by.”

“Sure?”

Mary pulled out a pen from who knows where and quickly scribbled down her phone number on an extra napkin. She folded it and placed it in Jasper’s hand, who then stared at it for a beat before looking up at her.

“Text me later and I’ll add you to the group text. I’m sure Robert will want to talk to you once he sorts out everything that’s going on his brain. For now, I’ve got to go, so talk to you later, Jasper! Welcome to the neighborhood!”

With that, Jasper and his kids all watched as Mary began shoving Robert towards the door. It was pretty incredible seeing her do so since Robert didn’t seem to be helping her as she guided him. They were pretty certain that they hadn’t paid either, but the waitress didn’t seem to care too much about it. Once the two of them were gone, Jasper turned back to face his kids.

“What...just happened?”

Carmilla and Silvester could only shrug.

* * *

Mary had managed to get Robert into her car. They’d come back for his truck later. The drive back to the cul-de-sac was silent, but that’s what she expected given the amount of news that Robert just got. They soon pulled into Robert’s driveway, but he remained unmoving and unblinking. Mary reached over and nudged at his shoulder, shaking him a bit.

“Hey. Robert, you okay? You alright?”

Nothing.

“You need me to carry you? Call a doctor? Get you a drink?”

Robert finally turned towards Mary and she gave a small sigh of relief. He was still staring, but at least he wasn’t completely responsive.

“Mary...what the hell just happened?”

Mary shrugged. “I don’t fucking know, Smalls. I don’t fucking know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so very much for all of your kindness and support!
> 
> [dangcommaannie.tumblr.com](http://dangcommaannie.tumblr.com)


End file.
